Living Like You Mean It by Ronald J. Frederick, Ph.D.

About the Author:

Ronald J. Frederick, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist and life coach, with over 15 years of experience helping people get the life they really want.

A long-time proponent of the transforming power of emotion, he co-founded the Center for Courageous Living, which offers innovative therapy, coaching and consulting. Noted for his warmth, humor, and engaging presentation style, he lectures and facilitates workshops nationally.

Frederick is a senior faculty member of the Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) Institute, as well as the Clinical Supervisor of Park House, an outpatient program at Abbott Northwestern Hospital in Minneapolis.

About the Book:

So many of us long to feel more alive, connected, and secure in our lives, particularly now, in these challenging and difficult times. Why is it so hard? Part of the problem, says Dr. Ronald J. Frederick, has to do with a fear of our feelings—a feelings‐phobia—and the consequences of expressing our feelings to others. It's this fear that keeps us stuck, detached from the wisdom inside us and distanced from the people around us.

And yet positive emotional experiences can actually “rewire” our brain and free us up to experience ourselves and our lives more fully. LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want by Ronald J. Frederick, shows how we can overcome our feelings phobia in order to enjoy more satisfying lives.

Drawing on cutting edge science, many years as a psychotherapist and his own personal experiences, Dr. Frederick advocates that we understand and express the broad range of our emotions so that our feelings actually become allies in our search for fulfillment. His proven four-step process for tapping into the hidden power of our emotions includes:

*Recognizing the signs of fears in ourselves, and the defenses we unknowingly use to cut ourselves off from our potential power.
*Understanding how to tame our fear and exercise control.
*Learning how to experience our true emotions and make use of their many resources.
*Developing effective, measured ways to express and share our feelings.

A master story‐teller, Frederick interlaces therapeutic techniques with stories from people who have learned to recognize and deal constructively with the emotions that have kept them from living their best lives. The trick, Dr. Frederick shows, is in being able to navigate and diminish the fear that is so entangled with our feelings, so we can progress in a healthier, less encumbered direction, and get the life we really want.

I was fortunate enough to get the author to agree to an interview. This is what he had to say:

Could you please tell us a little about your book?

Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want is a self-help book published by Jossey-Bass, a division of Wiley. Based on cutting-edge science, it shares my proven four-step approach to overcoming fear and becoming more emotionally present in one's life and relationships.

Did something specific happen to prompt you to write this book?

I was inspired to write Living Like You Mean It by my own life-changing experience. I was in my early thirties, had just finished my doctoral studies, and despite having everything going for me, I hit a wall. I was in relationship I frequently questioned and found myself filled with trepidation and fear about moving forward. I ended up in therapy and discovered, rather surprisingly, that the anxiety I was experiencing at the time had so much to do with being uncomfortable with what I really felt deep down inside. I had become so afraid of my emotions, of listening to and trusting my true feelings, that I couldn’t hear the voice of my deepest self buried somewhere inside me—the voice that knew what I wanted, knew what I longed for, knew what felt right to me and what felt wrong. I might have gone on doubting myself forever had I not gotten the help I needed to recognize what, in fact, I really was afraid of and to learn how to overcome my fears, accept and embrace my emotional self, and really connect with others. The experience changed my life. My anxiety decreased, I stopped doubting myself and felt much more confident and in touch with my personal truth. I found it much easier to be emotionally present and felt closer to the people in my life. Ultimately, I found the courage to listen to and trust my heart and move forward, to leave the relationship I was in, and to realize the kind of relationship and life I had dreamed of having.

When you have an experience like that, when your life is changed in such a dramatic way, you want to spread the good stuff around. The more people I’ve been able to help, and the more I witness the dramatic changes that can take place when we develop the ability to be with and share our feelings, the more I have felt compelled to spread the word. I guess you can say that it’s become a mission for me: to help people to wake up to their feelings and get the lives they really want. I wrote this book to help people do just that.

Who is your biggest supporter?

My biggest supporter is my life partner Tim. As I say in the acknowledgements section of my book, “a better partner I couldn’t have imagined if I tried.”

Your biggest critic?

My biggest critic is probably myself. I have pretty high standards which I challenge myself to meet. It’s probably why I ever give up!

What cause are you most passionate about and why?

I’m most passionate about helping people be more accepting of their feelings and more emotionally present in their lives. Why? It’s our feelings that make us feel alive and vital, that bridge the gap between ourselves and others and help us to feel close. We get only once chance at this life; shouldn’t we give it our best shot?

What are you currently working on?

Currently, I’m working on promoting Living Like You Mean It which is pretty much a full-time job. I’m also beginning to develop an audio series based on concepts in the book that will help people experience more joy in their lives.

What do you feel sets this book apart from others in the same genre?

The approach I share in Living Like You Mean It is solidly based on cutting-edge findings from the fields of affective neuroscience, brain development, and attachment studies. Consequently, the program I offer, while easy to understand and implement, is not the kind of anecdotal, “quick fix” found in so many self-help books. Instead, it offers tools that have the potential to fundamentally change the way our brain works and truly transform our lives.

What is the most important lesson you have learned from life so far?

What I share in my book: To not be afraid to take risks and try to connect more deeply with others.

What is your favorite past-time?

My favorite past-time is being with my partner Tim (even though sometimes he drives me a little crazy!). Add in our two dogs and I’m pretty much good to go.

Is there anything else you would like to share with us?

Getting a book published has so much to do with being tenacious. For me, it was four years from start to finish, with many road blocks along the way. I’m so glad that I persevered despite all the rejection, all the hurdles, all the down times. That I reached out to others for help and that I stuck with it as long as I did. I can hardly believe it sometimes when I’m holding the book in my hands that it’s actually come to fruition. It’s been quite a ride. So, don’t despair. Hang in there and keep at it!

And, to learn more about me and Living Like You Mean It, please visit: http://www.livinglikeyoumeanit.com/index.html

Full Body Orgasm by Oscar Naval

Hardcover: 260 pages
Publisher: Lifesuccess Publishing (August 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1599302004
ISBN-13: 978-1599302003



About the book:



This book takes a holistic view of the meaning and the function of the orgasm in the broader sense of the word as it relates not only to sexuality (the body) but in the mind and spirit as well. Living in a physical world where you may commute to work, buy groceries, cook the meals, pay the bills, raise your children, clean the house and go on vacations, you can balance and live a life of peak experiences in everything you do.


The full body orgasm (FBO) is continuous joy and pleasure that opens the doors of peak experiences in all aspects of life. In other words, if you can fully experience that energy of an FBO, then you will experience joy and pleasure in everything you do in life.



I was lucky enough to be able to ask the author some questions. Here are his answers:



You know I have to ask – how did you come up with the name "Full Body Orgasm" for your book?



I knew that I was going to write a personal growth book based on being a Body-centered Psychotherapist. When I first approached possible publishers and marketing people about the book concept, I started talking about personal growth and body-mind-spirit. I pitched a few titles at them and basically they all yawned. They said to ‘brainstorm’ several titles for the book. I started with “Balancing Wisdom and Energy” and one book title had a picture of my then 2 year old son with the title “Finding Your Inner Child”. When I brainstormed over 25 titles, I started to think about the core information that my book was to based on and remembered one of the required readings was “Function of the Orgasm” by Wilhelm Reich and my book is about harnessing life’s joyous energy. One of the dictionary definitions for orgasm (beyond the sexual reference) is ‘unrestrained joy and pleasure.’ Suddenly “Full Body Orgasm” as a title made sense.



Were you afraid of offending potential buyers by choosing a name like this?



No, I was not afraid at all. It’s a catchy title that will draw attention and if a person is open to read further than they will receive a further distinction of the definition for orgasm. It is all about discovering unrestrained joy and pleasure in every aspect of life. I know that some might be thinking… “Oh no, another book on sex” but this is far, far more diverse than the physical act of sex. It delves into the spiritual essence and energy of an FBO (Full Body Orgasm) and shows how to adapt that blissful energy into every moment of your life.



Could you give us some insight on to what prompted you to pursue a Diploma of Body-centered Psychotherapy from the Institute of Core Energetics ?



I became a Body-Centered Psychotherapist because of unhappiness (bordering on depression), wanting meaning, and understanding my own life. In other words, I was a client in need of therapy before becoming a therapist. I grew up in the Mission District of San Francisco, California. We lived 3 blocks from San Francisco General Hospital with the sound of sirens every night. It was the turbulent sixties in San Francisco and the hospital was running a full business. The local corner store owner was nicknamed by the SF television media as “Yosemite Sam” because he would legally shoot would-be robbers on a regular basis. He was considered a local hero. Gunfire was not unusual in the Mission District. My next door neighbor was a few years older than I and was well respected among the neighborhood kids because he seemed the most confident, calm, and cool kid who’d play street football with all of us. When I was about 10 years old, he shot himself. At about the same time I became acquainted with a family friend who ended up in San Quentin prison on Death Row. Ambulance and police sirens, gunfire, a hero who shot people, good people who killed themselves and a murderer as a family friend - I figured all this was normal. At home, my father suffered several strokes and was institutionalized when I was about 9 years old. What I do remember of him growing up was he had a violent temper. My mother was left with the bill and supporting 3 kids. I was pretty much left to grow up on my own in this environment. However, perhaps in spite of these beginnings, or perhaps because of them, my whole life has been a quest for true happiness and joy. It has been a bumpy ride becoming a Body-Centered Psychotherapist and a published Personal Growth author because I had to take responsibility and face my own painful childhood and grow personally. So, what prompted me? “Doctor heal thy self.”



Could you explain what you use your education for?



I use my education to better myself and share with others the knowledge I’ve accumulated. But, I feel from the question that it is not about book learning as much as experiencing and applying the knowledge.



I see you have had some very different careers. What did you always want to be when you were growing up?



Happy. As I talked about earlier, I became a therapist because of my own need to understand my own life. As a child I did not cognitively understand that what I really wanted to be when I grew up was “happy” but I have come to that conclusion today. Growing up with in a poor neighborhood, with violence, and a lack of adult guidance made it challenging to pinpoint what “I wanted be when I grew up” but I have always felt deeply a need to travel, explore, and express myself in a creative way.



Who is the biggest influence on your writing?



If you are asking for a specific “one” person then I cannot say. In writing “Full Body Orgasm” my writing was influenced by several of my teachers in Core Energetics. Specifically, the late Dr. John Pierrakos, M.D., Robert Kirby, Karyne Wilner, Walid Daw, Stuart Black and Ruth Fuller. The writings of Wilhelm Reich and Alexander Lowen also influenced my writing. If I had to name any “one” influence then it would have to be my 3 year old son because he is a constant inspiration of the meaning of unrestrained joy and pleasure in every aspect of life.



Who can you turn to when you need someone to critique your work with brutal honesty?



Because of the trust and the depth of what we had to shared in our training and personal therapy, I would turn to my fellow therapists who worked and studied with me for their “brutal honesty”. In the personal growth that we have gone through we have been “brutally honest” about our own lives with each other and I am open to whatever feedback they would give me. I am grateful for the feedback that 2 of the therapists I trained with (Mary Goslett and Bill Power) gave me feed back for this book.



What is one thing you would change about your life if you could?



Nothing. Everything. I would not change a thing. I would not be the person I am today and have written this book if I did. Life is so short so if I could change everything it would be like having another life to live. As in the question earlier you mentioned the very different careers I have had. I feel in some ways I have lived in this life at least 4 lives (so far).



Are you currently working on a new book? If so, could you tell us a little about it?



Nothing specific but I am outlining several ideas to follow “Full Body Orgasm – Your Energy to Love, Health, Wealth, and Happiness” book based on the feedback I’m getting. There would be a Full Body Orgasm or an “FBO Series” for specific aspects of life. For example, “Full Body Orgasm – From the Bedroom to the Boardroom” would be another title. Some have asked me about expanding on a turning point in my life that is mentioned in the FBO book when I got lost in “The Valley of Fire” desert in Nevada . In that book I would describe the inner journey of discovering that life had meant “nothing” if I died in the desert that day.



What is one piece of advice you would give struggling authors?



The only caveat to ‘Just Do It!’ is to do it with passion and fun. Passion and fun is what the FBO is about continually attaining and it is what I continue to learn and re-learn.



About the author:



"Finding balance in all aspects of life has given me the happiness that has eluded me for most of my life. It has given me a life that was once only dreamt potential. By taking responsibility and owning my problems I have been able to find peace within myself. And, by honoring truth with humility I have found a new lease on life. Real friendships, love, and companionship are what I had hoped for, dreamt, and have found."



Oscar Naval's path of awakening to the full body orgasm of life began during his engineering consulting career. He successfully consulted with high-tech computer clients from Apple Computer to Xilinx. Although he had career and financial success, he was overweight, a workaholic and failed at a 10-year marriage. This was his wake-up call to discover what really is important in life.



He traveled the world from the land-lines in the British Isles to the Oracle at Delphi, from the red earth of Utah to the spiritual spots of Sedona, Arizona, and scuba diving the depths of oceans. He has worked remodeling vacation units, selling holiday activities, and as well as an Open Water PADI Scuba Diving Instructor in Hawaii. Over time and experiences, he grew to find more clarity, balance and spirit.



Before moving to Australia, Oscar lived on the island of Maui and on the Big Island of Hawaii where he discovered the depth and richness of native Hawaiian spirituality. On the Kona coast on the island of Hawaii, he studied to be a Hawaiian Lomilomi Massage therapist.



After arriving in Australia, he found his spiritual family, close friendships, and a loving relationship. Oscar married his lovely wife, Lisa, in 2003 and their son, Mikey, was born in February 2005.



Oscar Naval holds a Diploma of Body-Centred Psychotherapy from the Institute of Core Energetics, Australia. He is also a Hawaiian Lomi-lomi massage therapist. You can visit his website at http://www.fbo-book.com/



FULL BODY ORGASM VIRTUAL BOOK TOUR '08 will officially begin on September 2, '08 and end on September 26, '08. You can visit Oscar's tour stops at http://www.virtualbooktours.wordpress.com/ in September to find out more about him and his new book!


As a special promotion for all our authors, Pump Up Your Book Promotion is giving away a FREE virtual book tour to a published author with a recent release or a $50 Amazon gift certificate to those not published who comments on our authors' blog stops. More prizes will be announced as they become available. The winner will be announced on our main blog at http://www.pumpupyourbookpromotion.wordpress.com/ on September 26!



Oscar's virtual book tour is being brought to you by Pump Up Your Book Promotion and choreographed by Dorothy Thompson